i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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