Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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