he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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