ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
