oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
