if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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