I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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