What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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