it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
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i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
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I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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