I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
