oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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