:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize