No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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