She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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