im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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