So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
