im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
