Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
