Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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