Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
