At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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