Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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