remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sext me about skeletons
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
