I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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