i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
