if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
