Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
