Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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