I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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