You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
