After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
