He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
