Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
