As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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