I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
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He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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