ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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