I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
