she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
