having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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