ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
