I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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