Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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