Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
