I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
