so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
that may or may not have been my penis.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize