Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
