grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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