I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
