thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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