called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
