I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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