Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
