i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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