apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
