my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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