john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
