Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
