my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
please come you make the beer taste better
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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