3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
