rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Randomize
